365 Days Together

My Baby Girl,

It’s been 365 days since you were born. It’s been one year and I’m sitting here reeling. How can time move so quickly? It seems to have passed in an instant. Everyone warned me about that, but I didn’t quite understand what they meant until now. We’ve both changed so much since you came into this world. But time is moving too quickly for me. I’m not ready to say “she’s one” or “I have a toddler”. I’m not ready for you to need me less, I’m not ready for what comes next. The memories of bringing you home, of newborn cries, and sleepless nights are all too fresh in my mind, how can you be one? To me you’ll always be my baby. Even though I see you growing up in front of my eyes.

So much it changing. Your jerky baby movements are gone, your baby smell is fading, you feed yourself, you play on your own, you climb the stairs, and you point to tell me what you want. You’re determined to do everything on your own and to learn everything you can. You’re fearless and don’t want my help. Your personality is infectious. Your deep belly laugh and your giggle could make even the hardest of hearts soften. When you wrap your chubby arms around my neck to hug me, my heart melts and I almost cry. Every, single, time.

You say “mama” when you’re upset and you look for your doggies wherever you are. You tease your daddy with kisses and you love hugging your stuffie. You’re independent and fierce. You know what you want and you go for it.

You’re everything I ever wanted you to be and so much more. You make me proud to be your mommy, every day.

From the day you were born you’ve been a joy in our lives. As sad as I am that you’re no longer a baby, watching you grow this past year has brought me so much joy and pride. Watching you learn the world around you, seeing what you like and dislike, hearing you learn your voice, and seeing you change makes me excited for who you’re going to be.

Even if I’m not ready for the speed at which time seems to move with you, even if I’m a bit sad, I am also excited for what comes next. I know that all of it is a great adventure and I can’t wait to follow you down this road. I can’t wait to have conversations with you, for you to tell me you love me, even for you to argue with me (if only because I will love seeing your passion). I’m proud and completely in love with you.

Happy first birthday, sweet girl. Your mommy and daddy love, so much more than you’ll ever know.

AnnieBirthday, Letter, 365